Tien
Tien is a Vietnamese girl, living in London. We met online, chatted for a while, and one day, she randomly turned up on my doorstep without any warning. I'd just finished nights, and was asleep, so she sat on my doorstep for a few hours before going back home. Bear in mind at this point that a train ticket to London is in the region of £100 each way.A few weeks later we did actually meet. She cooked for me. This is how I discovered that I'm not a fan of Vietnamese cuisine.
Before she came to visit, when we only chatted by email and MSN, she made it clear that she had very traditional values, which include saving herself for her husband. That’s fine, and I have a lot of respect for people who are able to do that. I’m not one of them, and I made it equally clear that we weren’t likely ever to progress beyond friends, because there’s no way I’d marry someone I hadn’t slept with yet, and I wouldn’t want to put her in a position where she feels she has to sacrifice her values for someone. Now, London is quite a trek from Stoke, and public transport isn’t cheap, so it was agreed that when we met, she could stay the night. I took the sofa, she took the bed.
Anyway, she's been to visit quite a lot over the last few weeks. In the beginning, this was OK - she seems a nice girl. However, the first night she stayed, when she left, there was an extra toothbrush in the bathroom. That’s OK, she probably just forgot it. The second time she came to visit, the toothbrush was still there, and had been joined by some random girl toiletries (not *those* toiletries. Yet). The third time, a pair of pyjamas. Also, she gets up every morning at 5am, and cleans the house from top to bottom before I get up.
I think what swung it was the last time she stayed. I got up, and she'd completely cleaned the spare room. She was sitting on the computer, chatting to her mum on MSN. Her mum still lives in Vietnam. She told me she'd told her mum all about me, and her mum thought she should take good care of me. I ask her if she'd like a cup of tea. Immediately, she stands up, and insists on leaving the computer to make the tea.
Now don't get me wrong, I know that by cooking and cleaning, she's trying to look after me, and that her traditional upbringing makes her feel that this is what she should be doing. However, I can't stand being looked after, and I can't stand not doing my fair share. I've told her this, she still insists on trying to do everything. So, she's had to go. I've told her, we're friends, that's all. We're not going to be more, and I don't want her to look after me. At all.
Now she's talking about taking a job in Stoke, and moving up here so she can take care of me.
I don't care how traditional her upbringing was, I'm getting crazy vibes.
posted by SingleGuy @ 3:49 pm
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