Janey Lou
So I had another crack at internet dating, trying once again to find some truth in the stereotype that the internet is full of cute punky, slightly geeky girls with pierced tongues.Stereotypes - you lie. There are no cute punky girls on the internet. And the ones that are are either being paid, or are actually 40 year old, balding males using a photo of one of the ones who's being paid.
Anyway. Janey Lou.
Well, she was female. That's always a nice start. We couldn't go on a 'date' because she has two kids, so we planned a night at her place. Now I'm thinking, cuddle up on the sofa, stick on a DVD on, order a Domino's, open a bottle of wine. Y'know, a nice night in.
What actually happened is we spent a night sitting on the sofa, her lounging all over me, watching Ant and Decs Saturday Night Takeaway.
Daytime TV is bad enough. Saturday night TV is just terrible. Both are aimed at that demographic who have absolutely nothing better to do with their lives than sit home. And then people call *me* sad, because I'd rather go and DO something than watch bloody X-Factor.
OK, that'll do for now.
So yeah, we end up in bed together. Now girls, listen closely, this is important. If this blog educates one woman on the importance of this next point, my work will be done.
If you're on the rag, this is information we like to know. And when I say we like to know, I mean we like you to tell us about it. Having the painters in is *not* your cue to turn the lights off and go right ahead anyway, leaving us looking like an extra from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
And then, just to really make the night a total success, at 8am the next morning, we were awoken by what I can only assume to be the child from the Frank ad (below). I was just waiting for him to start chanting "How long are you gonna feel like that for?!?"
A long time yet kid. A bloody long time.
posted by SingleGuy @ 11:16 am
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